wrigley field is MILF paradise
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
