So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
