I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
