Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
