My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I've blown a few things in my day
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
