So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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