i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
