gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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