is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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