Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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