Me too!
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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