Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I will be naked everywhere
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Randomize
