I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Im part way to drunk.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
