idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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