I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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