discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
