what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
