Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize