Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
