Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
