hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
i think my cat just said my name.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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