so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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