Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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