Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
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