if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
