I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
