my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
