We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize