Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
