i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
