Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
