Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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