im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
He's on the porch naked. Help.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize