I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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