So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
