I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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