I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
We left the knife in your bed.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
