Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
