when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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