Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
