He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
