I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
