I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize