It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Randomize
