doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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