So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
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