I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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