Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize