Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
