My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
