My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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