Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
he shaved USA in his pubs
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
