so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
