Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
