Im at strip club and am horny
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
