you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
