you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
