Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
