Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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