finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
