Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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